But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
