I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I party with great urgency now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
