If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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