I wish I could punch you in the face.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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