i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
