Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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