Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
