Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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