Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
