babies were throwing up all over the place
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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