I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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