so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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