i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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