i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he told me I talked like a deaf person
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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