I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
