Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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