I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
