the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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