your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
