Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
