I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
