My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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