hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
