The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
