My nipple is on Facebook.
I puked a lego.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
