Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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