We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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