I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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