This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
