my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
