Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
