I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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