It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
