just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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