It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
