Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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