I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
