Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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