i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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