Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
