Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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