Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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