we have officially lost it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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