haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
