God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
