Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
