I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
