I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
