I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
All the doctor said was why
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
