The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize