would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
