god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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