You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
