This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
