Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
