Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
