anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
